Is there a difference between being alive and existing?


That is my first reaction to this question and it regularly crosses my mind. I am a very deep thinker and personally I see beauty in everything including the way people think, act and live. As this sort of person I ask myself these questions on a regular basis.  Existing to me is being nothing. Being there, sitting on the shelf going along with life and being scared of the unknown. Meanwhile to me living is so different, it is not sitting and waiting around or hoping things will come to me, it is not being here for the sack of it and going along with everything. To me living is rebelling against life and what you don’t agree with, it’s making mistakes and feeling unbelievably down sometimes, it is adventure, it is following your dreams, your passions and not simply living for others. Living is stunning. Living is when you are completely happy, not just the happy on your birthday because of all of your presents, the happy where you randomly get an unexpected burst of pleasure in being alive and being in this world, as devastating and beautiful as it is.

I personally believe that not many people know what happiness really is like or what being alive truly means. I’m sure many people believe I’m crazy for thinking I’m more than a person, more than a physical object. I suppose people think I’m crazy for thinking I am alive but not existing. Personally I don’t believe in existing, I don’t believe I exist and I don’t want to live a life where I merely exist, because to me that is a waste. If I just exist I would have been better off not given the pleasure of this world and all the charcaters in it. I beleive everyone is living to some extent and I believe everyone at times has to be content with just exisiting. However, overall if I finish my life on this Earth, weather that’s in 70 years or 2 days, and have not lived but existed, then I will be truly devastated with what I have made of my body, heart, soul and mind. I will be outraged that I didn’t make something, however small, of my life. I am not bothered over how much I build or produce, I am more worried about how much I put into life and how much I want to be happy and alive, how much I crave the feeling of fullness. I believe if you find the steps to living instead of existing then everything else will come in time.

Living is not being here on this Earth. Living is having the feeling of utter happiness. The feeling where you don’t have to be doing anything to feel pleasure from the World. When the feeling of just being still gives you as much happiness, peace and completeness as climbing a mountain.

Being alive is feeling like you have enough oxygen to last you several thousands and millions of lifetimes. Being alive is having enough love and peace to make the whole World a better, more safe environment. Being ALIVE is what you make of every second, whether you are in your bedroom or running a marathon. Being alive doesn’t matter who has the most achievements but who has the most fulfilment in what they have done. Being alive is not a competition or a race. Being alive is freedom in your own body, not societies.

Living is doing what you want and how you want. But existing is taking a back-seat in a game of chest and not taking your chances. Existing is nothing. It provides nothing to us. Existing is not rebelling, its staying in the stereotype of society. Acting and being what everyone else wants you to be and not thinking, what do I want?

I understand that there is a level of existing to be alive, but we cannot as a united world let our dreams and wants from life go, just to stick in with everyone else. We as a united species need to stop existing and start living.

Living is what you see in every moment, however dull or exciting. Because I find that lots of the time, when I get the overwhelming happiness inside me of being alive, it is when I am sitting in my room, and seeing the beauty in the world, with all its evil. I get that astonishing feeling, when I feel perfectly at peace with life.

You need to live the way you want, live the way you choose, and then perhaps you can find that feeling, that I would love to put in a bottle and share with everyone.

LIFE. No doubt you will have times, lots of them, when you feel awful, down, done with life, full of negativity, but remember this is all part of being ALIVE and not existing, this is how to live life, not be part of it.

I love life, with all its devastating beauty and that’s why I feel alive.

Natasha x


“The Darkest Nights Produce The Brightest Stars”


“The darkest nights produce the brightest stars.”

I love the stars and the sky, ever since I was little I have been in love with staring up into the sky, day or night, and truly believing it is a good life and a brilliant world. Looking up at the clouds roaming the bright sky or the stars entertaining the dark makes me feel so inspired to follow every single one of my dreams and be full of happiness that I am alive. In particular the stars for me have always represented someone, I feel like everyone has a star for them, it watches over them, but only becomes full of light once they are gone, to comfort their loved ones. Through my life the stars have comforted me at the saddest times and motivated me to get up and live my life with every bit of my body, to love like there is no tomorrow, to do crazy things in the moment and not think of the consequences . For me in my life, the sky is the most inspirational place and I love looking out of my window, night or day, for adventures arising in the sky. Whatever happens, bad or good, deep down I love life, I love the world and I’m in love with everything about it, good and bad, because that’s what makes life.

And it really is a good life.

Natasha x

All The Bright Places-Jennifer Niven


I was recently on holiday in Crete, Greece and whilst I was there I read several books. One of the books I read was All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. I brought this book quite a while ago now and have been dying to read it but really wanted to save it for my holiday. I began this book on the air-plane and could not put it down, I absolutely loved it!

This book was so original and a really different love story to the typical ones you get. I am a huge love story fan like many people but this had an absolutely heartbreaking yet brilliant twist. It was so interesting to watch Violet and Finch’s story grow. The mental health storyline struck me as it is not so widely talked about and there is such a stigma around it. I  thought the way she wrote this book was outstanding. It showed me that although these teenagers were facing inner battles and going through hard times I felt they were still normal teenagers like me who were falling in love.  It really taught me so much about suicide and mental health and showed me why these illnesses are just as important as physical illnesses and they need just as much attention and care, as well as love and support. It shocked me in parts, in made me full of happiness, upset and inspired me to show my support to mental health sufferers, my friends and classmates at school because you never know what is happening in their mind and at home.

For me I have always been quite interested in mental health and I have always wanted to help people. This book taught me so much about the complexion of a persons brain. It also showed me the beauty of a person’s brain and imagination.

This story was so well brought together. In particular I loved Finch and Violet’s characters. I have never been so fond of the characters in a book. Their personalities made me so happy and at times I laughed, at times I cried and at times I was utterly inspired by these two teenagers fighting for their life back. The characters were so well thought through and I honestly I wanted to help them, be their friend and support them. I was obsessed with Finch’s character and absolutely adored everything about him, his bravery, love, beauty and battles. I like to think these characters are somewhere, Finch in another insanely beautiful world because his imagination and personality was incredibly beautiful and inspired me. I also like to believe Violet is someone doing extremely well in her life all because Finch in his own way saved her without her ever realising.

This book taught me a huge amount about life, living everyday, supporting people and mental health with all its beauty. I also realised that sometimes you can’t save yourself. However, there is always someone there to carry on fighting for you. There is always someone like Finch who wants to save you without maybe even realising. I realise that when I loose hope there is going to be someone there for me, whether that is my mum or someone I have not even met yet or talked to. Finch saved Violet, he put her before himself even though he barely knew her. Finch brought Violet back to life. Finch died for her, maybe that was all he was meant to do in his life, but that made me respect him even more.

There is always someone who wants you to stay, there are good people, there are alive people, there are asleep people, but we must treat everyone with the same love, respect and care whatever their situation.

No doubt this has become my favourite book, so imaginative, so factual and so so beautiful. It took me to another world for a few days and I came back knowing so much more about life and all the people who surround me. Probably the most inspirational, outstanding and phenomenal book I have ever read.

I will definitely be much more supportive and understanding of mental health in the future and I see why it is just as deadly as physical illness. Please support everyone around you because their minds are just as complicated as yours. Please read this book if you have a chance. It may seem as though it is full of suffering and sadness but actually it is full of hope, inspiration and truth.

Natasha x

Hello World!


Hello World!

So after many thoughts of starting a blog I have finally decided to do it! My name is Natasha and I have a huge passion for writing, books, the imagination and I love quotes. To my friends I happily mention great books I have read and recommend them, but I wanted to take it to the next level. I decided to share this passion with the public at the start of 2015 when I created a themed instagram account called writingtolive.

It is fair to stay I haven’t been the best at uploading and have found it hard to do so regularly. It is also fair to stay I am not someone you would imagine to love reading and writing. People seem to think if reading/writing is your passion you are immediately a “geek” or a “nerd.”  I would like to show that reading and writing is exciting and interesting not “geeky.”

Meanwhile, I have started this matching blog and I hope it will inspire me to both post more on instagram and write regularly on here. On instagram I find myself writing a mini blog. In the captions I write huge reviews or thoughts. I recently decided I wanted my captions to be shorter on there and let the pictures do the talking.

Therefore I have made this blog to write my  reviews and thoughts on . Perhaps now I will be able to write in more detail about books, thoughts and opinions. I am so excited to take my little account to the next level and I hope this brings you much pleasure as I am sure it will bring me great happiness. I look forward to the future of writingtolive.

Natasha x