Is there a difference between being alive and existing?

Yes.

That is my first reaction to this question and it regularly crosses my mind. I am a very deep thinker and personally I see beauty in everything including the way people think, act and live. As this sort of person I ask myself these questions on a regular basis.  Existing to me is being nothing. Being there, sitting on the shelf going along with life and being scared of the unknown. Meanwhile to me living is so different, it is not sitting and waiting around or hoping things will come to me, it is not being here for the sack of it and going along with everything. To me living is rebelling against life and what you don’t agree with, it’s making mistakes and feeling unbelievably down sometimes, it is adventure, it is following your dreams, your passions and not simply living for others. Living is stunning. Living is when you are completely happy, not just the happy on your birthday because of all of your presents, the happy where you randomly get an unexpected burst of pleasure in being alive and being in this world, as devastating and beautiful as it is.

I personally believe that not many people know what happiness really is like or what being alive truly means. I’m sure many people believe I’m crazy for thinking I’m more than a person, more than a physical object. I suppose people think I’m crazy for thinking I am alive but not existing. Personally I don’t believe in existing, I don’t believe I exist and I don’t want to live a life where I merely exist, because to me that is a waste. If I just exist I would have been better off not given the pleasure of this world and all the charcaters in it. I beleive everyone is living to some extent and I believe everyone at times has to be content with just exisiting. However, overall if I finish my life on this Earth, weather that’s in 70 years or 2 days, and have not lived but existed, then I will be truly devastated with what I have made of my body, heart, soul and mind. I will be outraged that I didn’t make something, however small, of my life. I am not bothered over how much I build or produce, I am more worried about how much I put into life and how much I want to be happy and alive, how much I crave the feeling of fullness. I believe if you find the steps to living instead of existing then everything else will come in time.

Living is not being here on this Earth. Living is having the feeling of utter happiness. The feeling where you don’t have to be doing anything to feel pleasure from the World. When the feeling of just being still gives you as much happiness, peace and completeness as climbing a mountain.

Being alive is feeling like you have enough oxygen to last you several thousands and millions of lifetimes. Being alive is having enough love and peace to make the whole World a better, more safe environment. Being ALIVE is what you make of every second, whether you are in your bedroom or running a marathon. Being alive doesn’t matter who has the most achievements but who has the most fulfilment in what they have done. Being alive is not a competition or a race. Being alive is freedom in your own body, not societies.

Living is doing what you want and how you want. But existing is taking a back-seat in a game of chest and not taking your chances. Existing is nothing. It provides nothing to us. Existing is not rebelling, its staying in the stereotype of society. Acting and being what everyone else wants you to be and not thinking, what do I want?

I understand that there is a level of existing to be alive, but we cannot as a united world let our dreams and wants from life go, just to stick in with everyone else. We as a united species need to stop existing and start living.

Living is what you see in every moment, however dull or exciting. Because I find that lots of the time, when I get the overwhelming happiness inside me of being alive, it is when I am sitting in my room, and seeing the beauty in the world, with all its evil. I get that astonishing feeling, when I feel perfectly at peace with life.

You need to live the way you want, live the way you choose, and then perhaps you can find that feeling, that I would love to put in a bottle and share with everyone.

LIFE. No doubt you will have times, lots of them, when you feel awful, down, done with life, full of negativity, but remember this is all part of being ALIVE and not existing, this is how to live life, not be part of it.

I love life, with all its devastating beauty and that’s why I feel alive.

Natasha x